Your Identity is not your Function

As a high achieving person - this concept of being identified as your function really hit home. I can’t think of a time I had a label that was not defined by what I did. I am a boss, a sister, a mother, a wife, a wedding planner, a venue owner, an employer, a speaker, a consultant, a President, a co-worker, the list goes on. 

And truth be told - I allow and even encourage others to give me those labels. It is like a suit of armor. Maybe it is because I am trying to prove something to someone, or maybe it is because I need to hide what is really going on when times are hard. Whatever the reason - I welcomed the labels and I welcomed being identified by what I can DO - not about who I am. 

This year (even though we are only 2 months in) has been a time of reckoning for me. There have been times of deep resentment for the hustle I have created and there have been times of real doubt that I am on the right path. But what has shaken me so much is the question - “who are you?” And I have to ask myself - who am I if I take out what I do? My husband asked me that exact question and I couldn’t answer him. I COULD NOT think of a single thing that was not tied to my function. So he answered for me. 

He said - you are kind, generous, hard working, smart, intentional, thoughtful, savvy, high functioning, giving, loving, and just a really great person. 

(Ok, ok - sorry for the total sappy moment)

I would love to tell you that I then got up and realized I am awesome and everything was fine. But that is not life. I heard him - I listened to what HE thought of me - and there were some things I internalized. But what I realized in that moment is that I have to believe it. I have to be able to describe myself as something other than my function. I have to do the hard work and take time to find out who I am outside of the hustle and outside of being an entrepreneur. Because even though I am so proud of what I have built, and being an entrepreneur is a large part of me - it is not all of me, and it is not my identity. 

I am on the long journey here - so I have no real great pieces of advice or calls to action. I just have real, honest vulnerability that I am still figuring it out. 

Cheers!  

XOXO, 

Dana