Your Identity is not your Function

authenticity business mental health therapy Feb 21, 2022

As a high achieving person - this concept of being identified as your function really hit home. I can’t think of a time I had a label that was not defined by what I did. I am a boss, a sister, a mother, a wife, a wedding planner, a venue owner, an employer, a speaker, a consultant, a President, a co-worker, the list goes on. 

And truth be told - I allow and even encourage others to give me those labels. It is like a suit of armor. Maybe it is because I am trying to prove something to someone, or maybe it is because I need to hide what is really going on when times are hard. Whatever the reason - I welcomed the labels and I welcomed being identified by what I can DO - not about who I am. 

This year (even though we are only 2 months in) has been a time of reckoning for me. There have been times of deep resentment for the hustle I have created and there have been times of real doubt that I am on the right path. But what has shaken me so much is the question - “who are you?” And I have to ask myself - who am I if I take out what I do? My husband asked me that exact question and I couldn’t answer him. I COULD NOT think of a single thing that was not tied to my function. So he answered for me. 

He said - you are kind, generous, hard working, smart, intentional, thoughtful, savvy, high functioning, giving, loving, and just a really great person. 

(Ok, ok - sorry for the total sappy moment)

I would love to tell you that I then got up and realized I am awesome and everything was fine. But that is not life. I heard him - I listened to what HE thought of me - and there were some things I internalized. But what I realized in that moment is that I have to believe it. I have to be able to describe myself as something other than my function. I have to do the hard work and take time to find out who I am outside of the hustle and outside of being an entrepreneur. Because even though I am so proud of what I have built, and being an entrepreneur is a large part of me - it is not all of me, and it is not my identity. 

I am on the long journey here - so I have no real great pieces of advice or calls to action. I just have real, honest vulnerability that I am still figuring it out. 




Listen to our Podcast Every Monday Morning! 

Listen Here

Stay connected with news and updates!

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.