Rediscovering your sense of selfApr 04, 2022
I love a conversation that makes you reflect on your past self, it allows you to see how far you have come and maybe provide some acceptance and, dare I say it, appreciation for all that you have been through. The good, the bad, the hard, and all the in betweens! When we were talking with Ryann about her journey she mentioned that she stopped along the way and asked herself, “What do I want? What would success look like for me?” This reminded me of a time in my life where I could not clearly answer that question. A time when I was so consumed by my present that I could not even fathom a future that looked like something that I wanted or would deem successful. It was truly a low point for me.
I found myself in a position where I had lost all sense of self. I couldn’t even answer questions about what I wanted for myself let alone take steps in a direction to correct the way that I was feeling (which was pretty negative at the time!). This realization prompted a period of true self reflection - where I took a hard look surrounding what I believed about myself, the boundaries I had in my relationship, dispelling what I had been taught to believe, and letting go of some expectations!
I started what I call ``The Year of Courtney” which, I know, sounds a bit narcissistic, but it was so necessary to get back to listening to what I needed, being in tune to my inner desires and wants, and teaching the people that I interact with how I wanted to be treated. It was a re-training that not only served me, I could even answer the questions my therapist was asking me, but it served my business and family too. I slowly began to articulate what it was that I needed and as my needs were getting met, I was able to better meet the needs of those around me - and the momentum built!
While I don’t want to go back there, I do love to reflect on that time and see how much has changed, to admire how strong that Courtney was, and fortify all that I have learned about myself in the process.
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