Playing SmallJun 14, 2021
Have you ever played small? Has there ever been a time where you minimized who you were or what you felt because you thought it was easier or less scary?
You are not alone! I think we all can recall moments in our life when this has happened. I am here to tell you that I STILL do it! Me, a 37 year old entrepreneur who runs multiple successful business, I still play small.
After our talk with Nichole, Courtney and I were dissecting that thought, and I had to ask myself why? When I look at when I play small it is because I am so emotionally invested- that the idea of rejection is almost too much to bear. I find myself playing small in places that I SHOULD feel the most safe. Wether it is with family or friends - I sometimes don’t want to reveal my true feelings or emotions for the fear of rejection.
What am I afraid they will do? Well, I am afraid they will tell me my worse fears - that I am too much, that my feelings aren’t valid, and that I have no right/reason to believe what I believe. It has come from years of being told I was too much. I was too moody. I was too stubborn. I had too much tunnel vision. I am a bulldog. I am too pushy. I am too angry. I am too…too….too…
Friends - I am tired of making myself small. I am tired of squashing my real emotions and feelings. I am just tired of not being all that I am meant to be out of fear. I have realized that because I have let that fear control me and control the way I interact with others that I am surrounded by people who don’t know me and how lonely is that?
I am on a journey (as Bethany Howard would say), to take up my space. I no longer want to play small. I want to be me - all of “too” much of me.
I hope you will join me and pick an area of your life where you are playing small and realize that you are meant to take up every inch of that space and shine like the bad ass you are.
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