Being Grateful and Overwhelmed

Have you ever felt this? I mean really, truly, felt like your better option for a life and career is to just hang up the boss hat and work for someone else? 

If you haven’t ever - I would love to know what your secret is! I have said this exact thing more times than I count! When Courtney and I get into a fight that I am not sure how to solve, or when the to-do list gets too long - I dream of walking away to an easier job.  In 2020 - I said this a lot because the problems seemed unsurmountable. In 2021- it wasn’t the problems, but rather the scale of it all - it just all seemed so big and I was responsible for it! The pressure was suffocating at times. 

I don’t think I am alone as an Entrepreneur when I say that it is just too much at times. You can have the most amazing year. The cash flow can be great, your employees can be awesome, and your clients could be your favorite ever. Yet - there will still be a moment or two where you just want to shut it all off. 

It took me last year to realize that I am not an anomaly in that regard. Especially after the hell of 2020 - whenever anyone would see me, and ask how I was - I would inevitably say great, but so overwhelmed with the amount of work - they would say “Aren’t you so glad you are so busy?!?” “You have got to be grateful for all that business!” “It has to feel so good to be so booked.” 

And while all that was true- yes, I am glad we were busy, yes I am grateful for the business, and yes it feels so good to be so booked. All of that is absolutely true! But it is also really hard. Maybe the money part isn’t hard - but scaling so quickly, keeping current employees happy with their massive work loads, figuring out our roles that seem to change monthly, and trying to make the best decisions with very little time is overwhelming in a different way. 

And I say this not to be “woe is me, life is so hard.” But at some point in 2021 I realized that I can be so proud of where I am, and also so overwhelmed. I can be so excited to go to work, but also dread the amount I have to do. I can be so stoked about what is on the horizon, but also hate the uncertainty. It is ok to live in that tension. For so many years I was ashamed to admit that it all seemed too hard and I had fantasies of walking away. Last year I said to hell with that! 

So - I just started being honest. Yes, my business is doing great, but I am struggling. Yes, we are so grateful that it isn’t 2020, but I am still really overwhelmed. Yes, I love the fact we are financially doing really well, but I stress so much about how to scale responsibly. 

Saying it out loud actually led me to being more free. All those feelings were no longer bottled up and I could be the most real version of myself. Because let’s face it - faking it all the time is exhausting! 

I hope you take the time this week to be real. Don’t sugar coat where you are. And, if you feel like walking away - it doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for it - it just means you are completely normal.

XOXO,

Dana